Grieving

When someone dies

When someone dies, we grieve the loss of the person. Even if the person was older and death was the natural end to their life, family and friends can experience grief and loss. Family members can feel strong emotions including sadness, distress, anger, anxiety, disbelief, panic and relief. Grief can also be felt physically as headaches, nausea, fatigue and restlessness.

If you have been caring for an older family member for some time, you may also feel some confusion about the loss of a caring role and guilt that you might be relieved that the caring responsibilities have ended.

Grief is personal

There is no timetable for grief. Everyone experiences the death and loss differently. Some people want to share their feelings while others don’t wish to talk about things. It may take some time to make sense of your feelings and some days it may be difficult to keep going with work and family matters. When you are grieving, it is easy to neglect your own needs so make sure you consciously take care of yourself.

As time passes following the death of the person you cared for, it’s normal for feelings of sadness, numbness, or anger to gradually ease. While the sadness of losing someone may never go away, over time it generally changes. There may be bad days still but there are days when you can see pleasure in activities and families and the future. If grief is continuing to severely disrupt your life talk to your GP or to someone from your health care team.

Watch psychologist and Bereavement Care Specialist, Chris Hall talk about grief, our different responses to loss and the importance of supporting the bereaved person.

COVID-19

COVID-19 has affected how many Australians think about aged care and about grief and loss. While Australia has been spared many of the direct impacts of rapid spread, older people and families have been affected by public health orders, deaths in residential aged care and restrictions on visiting aged care and on attending funerals and social activities.

There are special supports in place to help older people and aged care staff with issues around grief, loss and trauma.

You can find support at:

• The Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement provides specialist information and support to residential aged care and home care recipients and their families who have been affected by COVID-19.
• Phoenix Australia – Trauma & Aged Care Support and Information Hub is delivering a sector-wide trauma-informed care package that provides trauma training and resources for aged care residents, their families and aged care staff, including through the establishment of a dedicated website.
• Dementia Support Australia has started a proactive engagement program to help alleviate the impacts of lockdown on aged care residents living with dementia.
• Older Persons Advocacy Network (OPAN) is continuing advocacy and information support to people during the COVID-19 pandemic.